When Andrew Miller’s baseball career took a turn for the worst, the failed pitching prospect set out to find another career. It looks like he has found it.

Miller apparently is preparing to quit baseball to star in the final two films of the “Twilight” series, which is set to conclude in the next two years. He will replace teenage heart-throb Robert Pattinson. A formal announcement has yet to be made.

Miller, who broke into the majors with the Tigers and then was traded in a package deal to the Marlins for baseball superstar Miguel Cabrera, has not found his niche with the cowhide. He recently was approached about acting after industry insiders spotted his 2007 Topps 52 Rookies rookie card and noticed a stark resemblance to the Twilight character Edward Cullen.

Industry insiders say those involved with the Twilight series were looking for ways to maximize profits and felt that replacing Pattinson with Miller  would be one way to do so.

“They don’t think anyone will really notice,” a source said. “He’s got the same pasty colored skin, the dead stare in his eyes, and from time to time, Miller’s skin can be seen glistening, just like the `Edward’ character when the vampire steps into the sun.”

When asked about the impending change, Pattinson flat-out denied the rumors.

“Are you (expletive) kidding me?” the actor said. “The only scene where Miller could act better than I is when the Cullens are playing baseball in the woods in the first movie.”

He continued, “Besides, my hair is way better.”

Miller, whose only previous acting gig was his status as a Major League prospect, was not available for comment.

A Marlins’ spokesman said he has not heard the news and noted that no press conferences are scheduled. However, he did note that Miller has been acting more “emo” lately.

“Maybe he’s preparing for his role,” the spokesman said with a chuckle.

If I needed to tell you that this was fake, you’ve got issues.

This entry was posted on September 26, 2010 at 12:34 am and is filed under Newspaperman with tags Andrew Miller, baseball, baseball cards, Edward Cullen, Fake News, Totally Not Real, Twilight. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.