**Note: I wrote this this morning and shared with friends. I hope you enjoy it, it’s something a bit different.**
Is it Spring yet?
I like the rain, but I’ve felt enough for now.
I miss the sunshine beating upon my face. I miss late-night sunsets an hour before bedtime. I miss mid-week baseball games that make me smile the same as they did when I was seven.
I like the cold, but I’ve grown too numb for now.
I want dry roadways so that I feel alive all the time, not only when I lose the back-end of my car while flooring it on the wet pavement. I want a reason to be out of the house and away from the time-suck that Netflix has become even though Kevin Spacey as Francis J. Underwood is one of the finest characters I have ever seen. I want to escape the real-life political drama of “alt-right” and “alt-left,” and all the in-betweens, and ctrl+alt+delete all the rhetoric and enjoy the life I have.
I like the dark, but I’ve become too sullen for now.
I hope the sunlight breaks through the clouds like the bedroom light used to pierce my eyes on a school day. I hope this time passes quickly, but not so fast that it passes me by. I hope that the message here within is not one of despair, rather one of truth and optimism.
Is it Spring yet?
No. But it will be soon. Nothing can stop that.
-Ben Aguirre, Jr.
cardboardicons.com 
Heavy times can offer perspective on the hobby’s purpose in our lives
Posted in Commentary with tags baseball cards, death, depression, divorce, guilt, happiness, hobbies, joy, war on February 25, 2022 by Cardboard IconsBaseball cards have long been a type of medicine for me. As a child I dealt with my parents fighting and eventual separation by using the hobby as a means to shield myself from pain, to help me escape the situation. These pieces of cardboard have been my constant for 35 of my almost 42 years. They ask nothing, but at times provide me with everything.
Over the last five days I’ve again been dealing with some stuff. A colleague, who was a supervisor and mentor, passed away earlier this week. I then learned two days later that the Sports Information Director of my alma mater, a person with whom I had many interactions with as a student journalist at San Jose State, also died the same day. These two losses have caused lots of pain as I recall the countless interactions with both.
And then Thursday, the inevitable came as Russian invaded Ukraine. I have no ties to either country, but waking to a timeline full of tweets and headlines about the situation seemingly made a dark situation even worse. How on earth could I even think — THINK! — about cards at a time when folks are worried about their safety, and others were dealing with lost life?
The feelings of guilt ran through my body; thoughts of uncertainty through my head. I posted a message stating as such and then I walked away from Twitter and social media all together for a few hours. I know I’m not the only one who feels guilt for having serious thoughts about a silly hobby like ours, but it is times like these that remind me of the purpose this hobby serves in my life. Collecting has been huge part of my journey — it’s been there through good and bad. It serves as a means of celebration, as well as a distraction during times of pain. We have to give ourselves permission in these times of grief and sorrow to enjoy the things that we like. Abandoning such activities would be a protest of our own personal joy.
All this to say, we all deal with things differently. What works for me, may not work for you. Sometimes we simply need a few hours away from all things, the painful ones and the joyous ones, to help us gain perspective on our own lives and figure out our game plan in our pursuit of happiness. Other times we just keep moving forward with the hobby because it fulfills a need in our lives. It’s important, however, that we as observers or role players in each others lives do not judge others for doing what works for them, so long as it is not a threat to others. We all grieve differently.
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